Just pleasantly floundering around.....

I have two days of training to deliver this week. I love delivering training. You never know what the ‘crowd’ that you are going to deliver training to will be like. But I can conclude the following: • It’s quite different delivering to a ‘team’ that already know each other and have their own ‘culture’ ingrained from delivering to a group of people that have travelled to your training and don’t know each other. • If you work out a set of ‘ground’ rules before you deliver the training, it makes a much better ‘training space’ than if you don’t. Something a wise and very experienced trainer (on a ‘training the trainers’ course) once taught me was this: In any group you will get the following (it’s a bell curve again. i think you can get maslow and a bell curve to have relevance in just about any training): A for Advocates – people that are already using whatever the training is about and completely ‘buy into’ it. B for Bouncy Bubblies - I am not sure that was her term exactly but she mean...

A teacher of a class of seven and eight year olds posed a simple problem to her class. “There are four blackbirds sitting in a tree. You take a catapult and shoot one of them. How many are left?” “Three,” answered the first seven year old with certainty. “One subtracted from four leaves three.” “Zero,” answered the second pupils with equal certainty. “If you shoot one bird, the others will fly away. “Stop being so mean to blackbirds,” says Molly from the outer edges of the page. I read this story yesterday and it’s exactly the thing I would have loved as a kid. When I read it, I went straight into school maths problem mode and said, ‘three.’ But then enjoyed discovering the ‘trick.’ I asked chap and he said, “None.” Smart arse. I thought I was the queen of outside the box thinking! I soon revert to conditioned training when it comes maths – clearly. I think this little vignette is a powerful metaphor that illustrates heaps about perspective. Neither of these pupils were wrong once thei...

Just playing around here…..albeit seriously! Imagine you were in charge of a life. Well, I know you are in charge of one, but imagine you were in charge of a 'blank canvas' life, from the start and it was a life you cared about and you wanted it to be as good a life as you could muster up. What would you not want for that life? I suspect we might all have slightly different ideas about what we would not want for this life. Our perception of the 'danger' and 'risks' of various 'hazards' is bound to be different. I will make a few guesses though……….(it won’t be comprehensive!) FOR THIS LIFE WE MIGHT NOT WANT: • Failure to engage in or achieve learning at school? • No support network – friends or family? • No friendships? • Poor participation in anything? • Loneliness? • Boredom? • No self identity? • A poor physical self-image • Never reaching his/her potential? • No ability to care for anyone else but themselves? • Inability to manage emotions e.g. anger...

I went to a conference yesterday. Always interesting. In a hall of more than one hundred social workers, youth offending workers, people that work in pupils referral units, people that work with looked-after children, school nurses and many others from the caring professions working mostly with vulnerable children and young people, somebody piped up in the afternoon and said something to this effect: "If you give these attention seeking children attention, won't you encourage the attention seeking behaviour we are trying to prevent?" I call these people navelgazellites; people that see the efforts in improving children and young people’s emotional health and wellbeing as over-indulgent. They are a dying breed but they still pop up now and again. They are ‘old school’ and haven’t quite moved with the times. They still believe in a slight breaking of the spirit to keep these kids in check – especially the really vulnerable ones, because they tend to be more bother. I met a ...

I have been exploring cultural differences briefly at work this week as part of difference and diversity training. There are some very entertaining things to be found on the internet relating to this topic. For example did you know that in Britain if you want to indicate that something is kept secret, you tap your nose. I’m not sure I have ever done that. I guess you can never write the definitive list of cultural gestures because 1) not everyone does them and 2) they date. The interesting thing was the tendency to stereotype and make generalisations about etiquette, gestures, communication and what is considered polite but at the same time give a warning that stereotyping is never a good thing. One paper clarified the thinking by saying, ‘differences between two people within the same culture can be greater than differences between two people in different cultures'. Another paper differentiated between generalisations and stereotypes by stating generalisations are about saying tha...

Molly sits in her office, chin supported by her cupped hand, staring out of the window as she uses her inner vision to stare directly into her fanciful daydream...... A meeting was called and the agenda was sent out prior to the meeting and all meeting attendees-to-be checked to see if they needed to put in any preparation or thought before attending and if they did, they did so. Everyone arrived on time. The person who called the meeting had worked out clear and realistic objectives for the hour and a half everyone was to spend together. Everyone was clear about their role within and beyond the meeting. The chair kept everyone on task - although this was easy because the planning for the session was so unambiguous, there were no egos competitively and deliberately being contrary for the sake of it, nobody moaning as a work avoidance tool and no one felt the need to waffle on extensively down a fruitless tangent. At the end of the meeting all the objectives were met and those with res...

When it comes to money, in my experience, people tend to have patterns of behaviour that can stay with them for a long time. For example: • Some people are happy with debt, some people fear debt. • Some people are frugal, some people spend money flamboyantly. • Some people are flamboyant with money in some areas but frugal in others. • Some people are tight, some people are generous. • Some people will ask for the exact reimbursement for something they fetched for you, others will buy the thing for you. • Some people devote hours to bargain hunting, some people buy impulsively. • Some people save, others never do not. • Some people like the security a bit of money gives one, others don’t need such security. •Some people have greater money 'needs' than others • Etc I suspect the way we are with money, like many things, has something to do with A) upbringing (nurture) B) personality (nature) and C) life circumstances (C probably the result of A and B). Money is such a weird thing...

A bit serious again...oops...sorry. Will lighten up tomorrow! In the development of social ideals, there was a time when some people went round saying we were all the same. Woman were the same as men, black people the same as white, disabled people were as capable as able bodied people etc in an attempt to combat prejudice. Those 'same' statements were making a point, at that stage of social consciousness development, that needed to be made. In other words, 'don't assume we can't do something or make assumptions about us because of who we are'. However, it was soon realised that this was not an overly effective approach in the aim for fairness and thankfully things have moved on. It has been realised that simply treating everyone the same does not acknowledge institutionalised disadvantage and the barriers a person might come up against as a result of belonging to a particular group or minority. In other words, efforts have to be made to ensure that everyone can...

Educators, health professionals, the media and parents/carers tend to focus on the most extreme risk taking behaviours in young people (e.g. early sex, binge drinking etc). This can give us an exaggerated view of young people’s behaviour and make us forget that the vast majority are behaving ‘sensibly’. Furthermore it doesn’t just give ‘us’ that impression, young people also receive distorted impressions about their peers' behaviour. The normative effect is something I learnt about at a conference a few years ago and despite its proven beneficial influence in health promotion and reducing risky behaviours (it's been heavily researched), its 'use' has not filtered through universally. It’s another counter-intuitive thing (like giving kids sexual aspirations!) that once explained – makes perfect sense. Here goes…… The normative approach is a model based on the idea that we are influenced so much by our peers – especially when we are teenagers (when we are often at our mos...

Hey I am going to unashamedly nerd-out today!!!! Especially as my sister has gone on holiday. When I did A level Maths, half of it was statistics. I didn't much like it but I found it easy. (Have I mentioned I got an A??!!?? - not bad for someone who could barely read. I am proud that I was once clever in a way people wouldn't suspect to look to me.) However, there was one concept from stats that really stuck with me: the normal distribution. To me, it is a beautiful and simple concept and I am a concept freak! I am sure lots of you will have encountered a normal distribution (and some of you reacted badly to it that is if you haven't obliterated it from your grey matter) but it basically shows the distribution of any continuous (not discrete) data such as intelligence, height, foot length, etc in our species. So what it means is you get a greater number of people with or close to the mean average of anything. So if the average height for women was 5 ft 4, then most people ...

I have never been to the Outer Hebrides but somehow have still managed to feel a (very) mild affiliation to them on account of the following. When I was about eleven our dad returned from work one day with the weighty speculation that we might move to Benbecular so that my dad could run the airport there. Apparently the airport traffic amounted to about one aeroplane a day. The move was carefully and seriously considered over the following few weeks. I remember feeling extremely unsettled by this idea and the more I learned about the Outer Hebrides, the more resistance I felt. Aside from being told most island children go to boarding schools on mainland Scotland for their education and that its young residents usually do very well academically because there's nothing to do but study (this really scared me) my main fear was centred around the fact that devout religion on the islands meant people were not allowed to actually do anything on the day of rest: Sundays. I can hear my ele...

I have just about recovered from the physical and emotional changes of puberty. It was a lot of change, self consciousness, worry about whether I was 'normal' or not and hormones to get through in a relatively short amount of time and I didn't really enjoy it. I only realised what it actually was retrospectively and was happy for it to have passed. Nobody, except for my big sister and Deborah Wiles, told me what to expect and their rendition wasn't overly enlightening and certainly more sensationalised than comforting! Part of my job is about helping people feel more comfortable talking about body matters with their children. Thankfully people tend to be a little less prudish referring to puberty than the whole baby making thing but with statistics that say: *one third of UK parents do not talk to their daughters about periods *10% of girls in the UK start their periods without having a clue what's happening to them and *Girls can start their periods as you...

I know, I know. You all like different types of posts (except none of you appear to like made up stories about aliens - why is that? Where is my anorak following?). And I like writing different types of posts. So some days' posts YOU - yes YOU - will like more than others. (Did that have the effect of making you think I was talking to YOU only? I was.) But that's fine yes? I could have had a theme or one style of post but being the expansively wired (open-ended not convergent), chaotic person that I am, I know I would have become bored. Isn't it actually bloody great that we are all so diverse, that we: •hold different opinions, •approach things from different angles, •have different values, •have had different experiences, •see things differently, •behave differently, •rate things differently •can 'receive' the same experience differently •are 'wired up' differently •enjoy different things (even golf) •have different talents and skills •do things differentl...

A few years ago, a colleague and I were asked to produce a resource that aimed to help pupils with transition from primary to secondary school. (I have since had one published by AC Black but it’s quite different from the original – honestly!). We started by talking to a wonderful woman: Janine Oxley a high school teacher who had already developed a lot in terms of supporting pupils with this process. We also went into schools to investigate pupils’ perceptions and concerns. The concerns were pretty consistent: fear of bullying, getting lots of homework and becoming lost in the big school. The resource therefore addressed these issues and helped pupils put them into perspective. However, the thing that struck me most during this investigation was the change in pupils’ attitudes as they arrived at secondary school. At the time, Norfolk had both primary schools and middle schools, so in effect Year 7 (11/12 year olds) could be found either at the bottom end of a secondary school or the t...

For ten weeks every term, my daughter attends a drama session in the Maddermarket Theatre in central Norwich. Consequently, on many Saturdays I get and hour and a quarter to wander round town ALL ON MY OWN. Not being overly into shopping, I mostly watch the buskers (photo is of 'puppet man' - not exactly a 'busker' but well known and loved in Norwich. He plays pop tunes on his cassette player, wiggles hand puppets around to the music and places all the coins he's given in neat lines on his cardboard box), look at shops (they are quite pretty), lap up the atmosphere and enjoy bumping into people I know. The other thing I love to do is sit at the 'STUDY ONLY - no drinks or food allowed at this table' table in Waterstones and read books from the Oxford 'Very short introduction to.... lots of interesting subjects ' series. (That is after I visit the education section and force all my books into very noticeable positions). The table is very near the till...

A couple of days ago, I was chatting to someone about her work in South Africa. I cannot name her or describe her work in detail because my comment could potentially jeopardise (albeit highly unlikely) the relations she needs to maintain to do the great work she is doing. Anyway, she described how difficult it would be to organise accommodation amongst the people in S. Africa living in severe deprivation that she works with, so she tends to stay with wealthy people while she is there. This of course sits uncomfortably with her because she is in effect receiving the privileges those she works with could never attain. She described the extreme contrast in the two existences (where she stays and those she works with) and a story of how much resentment is felt when tribal leaders lay legitimate land claims that in effect mean that the wealthy folk have to give up some of their vast land ownership to the people huddled closely together in appalling living conditions. It set me off thinking....

Wow what a busy week, culminating in the training session on difference, diversity and inclusion for social workers (mentioned in last Sunday's post) that turned out to be in the upstairs room of the pub closest to my house. (I didn't receive directions for the training venue until an hour before it was to occur - all very 'treasure hunt'.) One thing I have noticed about social workers: they do casual very well. They made me look over-dressed and that really is a rarity. I liked this because I personally struggle to look 'polished' every work day - physically and mentally. Yesterday, I was a social misfit from the opposite direction. To set the scene a bit - my background is in education and therefore when I am talking to teachers, I have a shared understanding that is so 'there' I am not really even aware of it. I have worked with youth workers, school nurses, people from youth offending teams, people from the voluntary sector and various other agencie...

Well. I do have many thoughts about the issue of religion. My original post was deliberately quite light-hearted. You all appear to have had the heavy debate about it for me. However, I have become sucked in to a point where I have to say more………. I see religion a personal choice in the same way as drinking alcohol/or not or eating meat/or not. People with different viewpoints (as long as these viewpoints do not impact on the rights of others) should be able to co-exist without feeling a need to convert or feel anger towards each other. So if someone does not respect another’s’ right to hold a particular viewpoint, however strange that viewpoint might seem to them personally (and tries endlessly to convert the opposite viewee), that’s when it all goes wrong. That just seems to end up in angry polarisation. I will always challenge a person that tries to convert me to religion - quite forcefully - and defend my right not to believe (or even see the point of religion) but I would never tr...

Religion is not for me and almost definitely never will be. I say almost definitely because I might go senile. If others need it, want it, socialise through it, have it in their very core, cherish it, are guided by it, are comforted with blind faith in it, depend on it, live it, respect my personal choice not to partake in it, don't spend time telling me my life would be so much better with it, don't legitimise judging others with it, don't start wars in the name of it, then it's fine but it's not for me in the same way as horoscopes aren't. Anyway when I got home last night I found a leaflet asking me, 'would I like to know the truth?' The leaflet then prophetically asked my next question - so obvious, I said it aloud as I read it, 'the truth about what?' Well, in fact, some pretty heavy duty questions like: *Does God care about us? *Will war and suffering end? *What happens to us when we die? *Is there any hope for the dead? *How can I pray and...

This Friday I have been asked to deliver some diversity training to a group of social workers to deal with a very specific issue: sexism. When I was first asked, I explained that my training is mostly pitched at considering, reflecting on and addressing racism (I'd like to think racism is an anachronism in public sector - but I'm not so sure!), culturalism, disabledism, homophobia, ageism, transgenderism, opinionism...etc and that I could deliver the training as it is and the group never actually receive the message they were meant to receive - the message that would change their behaviour. I have of course adapted my training. The 'situation' I have been asked to address was first registered when one male in an office of many females complained to his boss that he was being made to feel incredibly uncomfortable because of the images, language, attitudes and anti-male e mails (etc) flying around the office. This man does not want it made known to his colleagues that he ...