Just pleasantly floundering around.....

I have lived in the same city all my adult life and that city is Norwich, Norfolk, UK. I came here originally to study at the University of East Anglia and stayed. I know several people that did the same as me and a few more that left and then came back. Those of us that love it, really do love it. 'Not too big, not too small and enough to keep you entertained,' is a common mantra. It's also beautiful to look at. Something I always do when I see someone in Norwich holding a map, is to stop and ask them if they need any help. Usually I find myself in a conversation that results in me listing many of Norwich's 'worth seeings'. I know there are websites that list attractions, but they are often the things you have to pay to go and see. Some of these attractions are great but Norwich is also a wonderful city to just wander around too. So here is my alternative list of 'experiences' for visitors to Norwich. Riverside Walk A stroll along the river takes y...

I have been thinking a lot about gratitude recently. I think it is a key and effective tool in helping us to be happy. It is so easy to get sucked into the negatives: the grass being greener, the disappointments and moan about the mundane. It is also very easy to take things for granted. However, it doesn't take long to shift your perspective and suddenly be filled with gratitude. For example, there are parents in the world that have to watch more than one of their children die of starvation and/or disease. That surely gives enough instant perspective to shift most people's thinking into that of gratitude. I think most people in the 'western world' should be able to find something to be grateful for. I am reading a book at the moment called 'Capital' by John Lanchester. It's a brilliant book and I recommend it highly. It's social comment, attack on inequality, satire of modern living, gives a view of different lifestyles from different and 'outside...

For the last two years I have worked in a school for primary-aged children that have been kicked out of mainstream education (known as a PRU or short-stay school). Upon hearing this, most people say 'that must be a really tough job,' and it undoubtedly is - in some ways. For example, when I am with these children, I can't display any personal 'touchy' or sensitive areas or I would fail miserably as these children invariably attempt to find any weak spots and goad every adult into behaving like the other adults in their lives. When they do this, I always remain calm and carry on delivering unconditional positive regard for the child - which might - I suspect - be beyond some people. The job requires me and those I work with to be very self aware and therefore this job has taught me lots! Aside from this dollop of self-awareness, I have learnt the better ways to manage extremely damaged children's behaviour. Recently I went to a training day that consolidated wh...

I have been marvelling at how much conflict opinions can sometimes cause. I have witnessed many heated debates based on opinion solely - which to me is like one blind faith arguing with another. An opinion can be a transient thing. When we react to an issue and form an opinion, it is based on our current knowledge of the issue (which is unlikely to be comprehensive), the patterns and buttons of our personality/ego (applying our individual evaluative judgement), and how our personality has reacted to any prior experiences we have had relating to the issue and the thoughts it created. These are all rather woolly if you ask me. It's like saying - my experience, knowledge and personality are more valid than yours. So why do opinions cause conflict? I guess some people present opinion as fact or dodgy facts as fact -that might get people whipped up. Also if someone believes they know more about the issue than the person they are debating it with, this might give them a powerful and t...

I am reading The social animal by David Brooks at the moment. It is full of so many interesting snippets but this morning's reading set me cogs off! Particularly this bit...... It all started with Plato. He said that the higher, more rational functions that the human brain were capable of, were the best bits and the 'underlying,' more basic passions and sentiments were brutish and unruly. He said, the conscious part that could reason and apply logic was the part that should be nurtured. Then the dark ages came along and that section of the brain took a back seat and more irrational superstition and folklore were in charge again. Then along can the renaissance and the higher thinking returned and pretty much stayed. Logic, science and theories of prediction prevailed. Of course there is nothing wrong with this kind of thinking. It has brought about huge health and technological benefits for example. But then we might have become a little over-zealous with our scientific pr...

OK so I went for a cycle ride and a pub lunch with a friend and we had an agenda. The agenda was a tongue-in-cheek attempt to bring some structure to our rambling conversations. One item on the agenda was 'world salvation' (others included 'optimising chocolate experiences' and 'spring' for example). With world salvation, we started with a little altercation over whose responsibility it was but we ultimately agreed that my friend would do it but that I would help. The previous item on the agenda had been 'attachment' (see last post) but because of our tendency towards wandering open-ended thoughts we linked attachment to the current item. It was quite easy actually. Our thinking went like this: Attachment theory is currently establishing the idea that while nature provides some basic building blocks, humans are born with a lot of hard-wiring yet to be put in place (usually pre-one year of age). The survival reason for this is that our eventual hard-wirin...

I was lucky enough this week to have some training delivered by a psychologist (run more like a group therapy session!) on attachment this week. I have had previous training sessions on attachment but they were either overly detailed, too much about research and/or delivered knowledge that could not really be practically applied to the children I work with. In a nutshell - (like I like it!) The trainer started with the premise that every child is born with hard-wiring for survival. Obviously this makes a lot of sense in evolutionary terms. Therefore, whatever circumstance, family set-up, family behaviours etc a child is born into, they will adapt (and subsequently develop the hard-wiring) that will optimise their chances of survival. Getting a parent's attention is a crucial part of this survival so disorders to do with poor attachment are due to a child receiving, little, inconsistent and/or frightening attention from their parent/s. Strategies for getting these parents' a...