Just pleasantly floundering around.....

You are going to be sent to the desert island of Gawaii. It is a beautiful place with sandy beaches, palm trees and freshwater rivers. The sea surrounding it is crystal clear. The days are always sunny and rain only ever falls at night. On the island there is a cabin for you to live in. Inside, there is a wooden bed, a wooden chair, a bowl for washing, a toothbrush and paste, a bucket, a cup, a plate, a cooking pot, a knife and a spoon. You have a selection of hats, underwear, trousers, tops and footwear to choose from. You also have some basic tools: a saw, a spade, a lighter, some rope, a sharp knife some string, a hammer and nails. On Gawaii, there are plenty of fruit trees and vegetables that grow in the ground. You could survive just by eating these fruit and vegetables and drinking the water from the rivers. Before you go to live on Gawaii, you are asked to choose some things from each of the following lists. What do you choose? Set up before you arrive – you can choose three • ...

When our kids were younger and we were all bundled in bed together, they always wanted us to bring cuddly toys to life or turn our hands into characters. I suspect parents everywhere do this regularly. We still do this with our youngest. Last night's hand-demonstrated story, for example, was about Harriet the Hippo with the itchy bottom (she searched all over for the perfect scratch) and we have a fat penguin cuddly toy that is trying to learn English but can only really say, heavily accented, 'my nose is like a carrot.' In fact, I don't think there is a cuddly toy without a persona and my hand has played endless roles (no seedy ones). It thinks it is an actor. The other day, I stumbled across this 'story' that included many of the characters chap and I turned our hands into. The characters became quite developed such that I must have written this down based on them. (I didn't remember writing it!) Our daughter used to nag us endlessly to tun our hands into ...

I didn't mean this to be a long post. I got carried away (see enthusiasm badge). This is me messing around (forte) with one of the more silly creative thinking ideas from my book Outside the Box (9-11). In the book, I ask kids to make up what a person would have to do to achieve a set of silly badges (much like buy scout/girl guide badges). Here are a couple of examples that I give.... ******************************* Great irritator’s badge 1) Irritate three different people in the same day and ask them to sign a piece of paper that will prove you irritated them. 2) Make up an irritation questionnaire that explores what irritates people. 3) Make up three really irritating sounds and irritate at least three different people with them. 4) Keep an irritation diary for one week and list all the things you have seen that have irritated people. You must list at least eight things. 5) Tell the badge collector what you think is the most irritating thing in the world and why you think it is...

For some time now Martians and Venusians have not held each other in high regard. While not in conflict, bring up a Martian while in conversation with a Venusian or vice versa and you'll soon wish you hadn't. (I once mentioned a Splig Star Explorer to an indigenous Martian -just in the context of describing a terrible sleeping pod motel on Saturn that the Splig had made a complaint about - and several of his facial features popped- with rage. I felt terrible.) So, being the idealist I am, I decided I would try and improve the current deadlock, tackle the severe prejudice and reduce animosity by inviting several Martians and Venusians to a picnic on the moon. My thinking was that I could make a film of everyfreek getting on well and both planets could use it to educate their younglings so that future relations would be enhanced. Please understand and know my intentions were good. I chose Venusian date 4.93 and Martian date 34 555 666 K Grine for said picnic. The moon was full a...

I am breezing through..on the way to a meeting...... The start..... There is video footage of the actual race somewhere. It shows me knocking over a small child and the expression on my face shows just how inconvenient I consider that to be - because I only just about stop to check he is alright. I mean...winning is everything. Dr Bob was clearly better at space hopping than me but he let me win - what with it being my birthday and me being so ridiculous by nature. Eventually we let the kids have a go....

I was clearing out some old files on my computer and came across this. I wrote it in about 1999 (back when people still wrote cheques) predominantly to take the p*** out of a teaching colleague that was the opposite end of this particular spectrum to me! He took it as the silly, light-hearted bit of fun it was meant to be, but he did actually score nearly full marks. We are still friends and he's a headteacher now. Just shows you how far a bit of anal retention can take one. *************************************************** DEFINITION A popular term for “anal retentive personality,” a personality marked by excessive orderliness, extreme meticulousness, and often suspicion and reserve. According to psychoanalysis, an anal personality is formed in early childhood as a result of efforts to control bowel movements. *************************************************** Now tell me, does anal retention *increase with age? *really make life easier? *have very strong links to the need to b...

Well I did try very hard to stay advert free....but the temptation is just too great.... If you place your order with me - I'll only take a little commission.

If the box is the metaphor for convention, all thing with the grain, everything mainstream, conforming...etc...etc....which of these represents your relationship with it? Or do you need a whole new representation? (You can click on each row to enlarge if need be) Please e mail further suggestions for me to add to the box bank if a) none of these pinpoint your exactly relationships with it and/or b) you just feel like drawing some more boxes. xxx

This idea comes from an activity in one of my books due out soon (Even More Outside the Box). I like that title. It's a sequel to Outside the Box so I am guessing if I write more, they might be called 'Viewing the box from space.' It starts by defining: *Ordinary - as nothing out of the ordinary! *Extraordinary as unusual but possible and *Extra-Extraordinary - as extremely unlikely or impossible. (for the purpose of this activity) For example: take these three teachers' journeys to school. ORDINARY Mr Jones Mr Jones leaves his house every morning at 7.30 a.m, exactly. He gets into his blue car, puts on his seat belt and pulls out of his drive. He drives along the High Street,turns left into School Road and right into the school car park. He puts on the hand brake and climbs out of his car. He enters the school by the main entrance. EXTRAORDINARY Ms Teapot Ms Teapot leaves her house by a small window in the downstairs bathroom. She untangles her bicycle from the gooey c...

Haslar has been married to Gina the rabbit for 57 years. He believes the secret to a healthy relationship is honesty and not eating your spouse. Danger Level .......... 5 Age ....................... 88 Magical Power ....... 12 Max Speed ........... 17 Goodness ......... 5 Intelligence ............. 100 Addicted to high risk activities and adrenaline, Gij has found herself in the position of having lost 24 of her 27 limbs. Danger Level .......... 5 Age ....................... 103 Magical Power ....... 24 Max Speed ........... 3 Goodness ........... 10 Intelligence ............. 99 Croffit moves so painfully slowly that his north side is covered in moss and a Barratt home estate has built up around him. Danger Level ..... 2 Age ...................... 67 Magical Power ....... 22 Max Speed .... 0.000001 Goodness ........... 2 Intelligence .......... 86 Gary en...