Friday, 6 November 2009


What would be the best compliment a friend could pay you?(I explore this as a lighthearted activity with adults).

If you can't think of anything - which of the following would you most like to hear someone say to you.

You are kind
You are witty
I always enjoy being with you
You are good at art
You always cheer me up
You are easy to talk to
You have a great imagination
You are really helpful
You are a stylish dresser
You are really interesting
You are a very unusual person
Your advice is always great
You are generous
You are good at writing
Everyone likes you
You are so clever

What I have learnt from doing this activity:

1) It's funny because this is truly different for every person.

2) Some people, really, really cannot receive compliments. It's linked to very poor self esteem.

3)Most of us appear to like to be complimented about things we already feel truly proud of because it means someone has noticed a quality we allow ourselves to believe we genuinely possess. Also, if we have managed to muster up some pride in something, we appear to be more likely to properly receive the compliment as opposed to brushing it off as insincere. It's a good feeling when someone has actually noticed that we are good at something, because not many people appear to be looking!

4) We are tuned to hear the one criticism in a sea of compliments. Everyone knows this but it's still tragic! Is that cultural, perfectionism or human nature?

5) One person's compliment can be another person's insult. It's all in the receiving! Take, 'you are against the grain.' I was told that by someone and took it as a compliment. They meant it as an insult!

6) We are not generally a nation that is good at giving and receiving well-considered compliments.

What are you going to do about it?

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