The odd funny story.....

With a job that is basically about persuading schools to teach sex ed, it probably does not surprise you to hear I have to have to wade through no end of innuendo, double entendres and funny euphemisms when training people. It's OK, I've become quite good at graciously pretending that I am hearing something for the first time. However, occasionally I am lucky enough to collect a gem of a true story.

Like this one told to me by a male teacher (a story, he said, the parent in it, had told him)......

An eight year old girl approached her mum and asked, 'Mum what does 'ejaculate' mean?' This was a mother who had sworn to herself that she would always answer her children's questions - whatever they were - openly and honestly. So she took a deep breath and, with the help of pen and paper, proceeded to explain what this term meant in great detail. The eight year old listened attentively.

At the end of the description, the mother put down her pencil and enquired,
'Does that answer your question?' to which the daughter replied with a slightly quizzical expression,
'Yes, but I'm not sure Anne of Green Gables would have done that.'

Having not read Anne of Green Gables, I can only imagine 'ejaculate' was used to refer to something being said - something blurted out.

The moral of the story is quite clear: always ask the child what they think the answer might be first.

Comments

  1. fg26 November 2009 at 17:51

    Anne of Green Gables is one of my favourite books and there are actually quite a few sex scenes in it, including the one where Anne and Diana ejaculate together after accidentally drinking red wine instead of blackcurrant cordial.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Molly Potter26 November 2009 at 17:58

    Fantastic not quite innuendo. Thank you.
    xxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mark In Mayenne26 November 2009 at 20:08

    Yeah, it means to eject something quickly/forcefully, and can be another way of saying blurt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wendy Elf28 November 2009 at 17:28

    We have been teaching the kiddos at school sex ed this week (10/11 yr olds). You would be amazed how many boys rush in the next day and proclaim they have had their first wet dream the night before. Cept last year one boy exclaimed very loudly that he had his first 'wet cloud'.... The best bit is putting a tampon in a glass of water. They like that. Cept last year someone went home and dunked all of mums tampons in water.... and they are so expensive!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. ukulelehaven14 May 2013 at 17:59

    I had to stifle several guffaws of my own - amongst a cacophony of smutty sniggering of year 10 girls - whilst acting out the part of Romeo in R & J, Act 3 scene 5 only today:

    ROMEO

    Farewell, farewell! one kiss, and I'll descend.

    He goeth down

    JULIET

    Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!
    I must hear from thee every day in the hour,
    For in a minute there are many days:
    O, by this count I shall be much in years
    Ere I again behold my Romeo!

    ROMEO

    Farewell!
    I will omit no opportunity
    That may convey my greetings, love, to thee.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I LOVE comments......

Popular posts from this blog

Breaking the blog spell...

My beautifully captivating and mesmerising big sister cast a spell on me. It was a spell that would make me sit in up in the clouds and write a blog every single day...mostly for her benefit - as she dutifully and kindly read and commented on each one. Being easily coaxed into most things and liking the idea of a blog meant this spell was fine...for a while. Then.....I was sitting minding my own business (I look quite funny when I do that - most people do) when a huge green common-sense elf wearing red hotpants came and waved his wand at me declaring, "Writing a blog every day when you work full time, have two youngish children and a million projects on the go at any one time, is a little silly. You can waffle on and on about just about anything and do have about forty draft blogs saved ready to run, but it's probably best you aim more for quality than quantity and only write about slightly more fully formed ideas! After all, less IS more." I was released -although I fear...
Read more

51 quirky features of Norwich Cathedral that you can go and find

Image
I have always loved Norwich Cathedral as it is beautiful and atmospheric. But it turns out that it is also loaded with a hotchpotch of history as building started in 1096. The more I learn about it, the more fascinated I become. So here are my recommendations for what to look out for should you ever visit the cathedral. 1) The Elizabethan grave of Thomas Gooding Thomas was a mason of the cathedral. He paid a fair amount of money to be buried upright because he believed this would give him an advantage come judgement day. At the base of his memorial is a typical of its time, poignantly death-focused inscription: 'All you that do this pass bye Remember death for you must dye As you are now even so was I And as I am so shall you be Thomas Gooding here do staye Wayting for God's judgement day' If you look at the skeleton, you will see there is poor knowledge of anatomy. 2) The grave of the baby that died before she was born . I have been told that this is be...
Read more

Anal Retention Test

Image
I was clearing out some old files on my computer and came across this. I wrote it in about 1999 (back when people still wrote cheques) predominantly to take the p*** out of a teaching colleague that was the opposite end of this particular spectrum to me! He took it as the silly, light-hearted bit of fun it was meant to be, but he did actually score nearly full marks. We are still friends and he's a headteacher now. Just shows you how far a bit of anal retention can take one. *************************************************** DEFINITION A popular term for “anal retentive personality,” a personality marked by excessive orderliness, extreme meticulousness, and often suspicion and reserve. According to psychoanalysis, an anal personality is formed in early childhood as a result of efforts to control bowel movements. *************************************************** Now tell me, does anal retention *increase with age? *really make life easier? *have very strong links to the need to b...
Read more