Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Let me introduce you to some of my friends....

Haslar has been married to Gina the rabbit for 57 years. He believes the secret to a healthy relationship is honesty and not eating your spouse.
Danger Level .......... 5
Age ....................... 88
Magical Power ....... 12
Max Speed ........... 17
Goodness ......... 5
Intelligence ............. 100

Addicted to high risk activities and adrenaline, Gij has found herself in the position of having lost 24 of her 27 limbs.
Danger Level .......... 5
Age ....................... 103
Magical Power ....... 24
Max Speed ........... 3
Goodness ........... 10
Intelligence ............. 99

Croffit moves so painfully slowly that his north side is covered in moss and a Barratt home estate has built up around him.
Danger Level ..... 2
Age ...................... 67
Magical Power ....... 22
Max Speed .... 0.000001
Goodness ........... 2
Intelligence .......... 86

Gary enjoys golf, suduko, caving, Thai cuisine, tap-dancing, playing Twister, yachting, and prides himself on his success with the birds.
Danger Level .......... 1
Age ....................... 19
Magical Power ....... 2
Max Speed ........... 5
Goodness ........... 8
Intelligence ............. 100

Numbf excessively itchy trunk means she is constantly rubbing up against her boyfriend, Harry the Hedgehog who is often covered in scaly bits.
Danger Level .......... 2
Age ....................... 47
Magical Power ....... 16
Max Speed ........... 38
Goodness ......... 9
Intelligence ............. 88

Flobb’s vast magical power but low intelligence means his powers have mostly been put to poor use. Daily he changes himself into a broken plug.
Danger Level .......... 5
Age ....................... 45
Magical Power ....... 30
Max Speed ........... ½
Goodness .......... 10
Intelligence ............. 42

Mr Harrington bought himself a sporty convertible last year to see himself through his midlife crisis. He is also dating a 200 year old.
Danger Level .......... 1
Age ....................... 433
Magical Power ....... 3
Max Speed ........... 15
Goodness ........... 6
Intelligence ............. 81

Byx is allergic to milk and all dairy products. They give him a terrible rash and clog up his spark producing antennae.
Danger Level .......... 5
Age ....................... 18
Magical Power ....... 28
Max Speed ........... 1
Goodness ......... 2
Intelligence ............. 147


Jackak lives on a cumulus cloud. He finds cloud living dreamy and would recommend is unreservedly to everyone.
Danger Level .......... 0
Age ....................... 16
Magical Power ....... 30
Max Speed ........... 40
Goodness ......... 10
Intelligence ............. 112

When bits break off Fitch, they always grow back. The only part of his body that is original is half of his left kidney.
Danger Level .......... 2
Age ....................... 405
Magical Power ....... 31
Max Speed ........... 15
Goodness ......... 3
Intelligence ............. 128

Jollopop can safely step over a house, most trees, the M25, and a lorry but she thinks this is little compensation for being a freak.
Danger Level .......... 5
Age ....................... 20
Magical Power ....... 13
Max Speed ........... 50
Goodness ......... 6
Intelligence ............. 134


Emily does not believe in fairies, aliens, monsters, ghosts or anything paranormal. She thinks anyone who does is simply stupid.
Danger Level .......... 4
Age ....................... 19
Magical Power ....... 30
Max Speed ........... 5
Goodness ......... 3
Intelligence ............. 105

Ben has a non identical twin called Bill (you couldn’t make it up). Bill stole greedily from the gene pool and looks like a handsome spiral.
Danger Level .......... 2
Age ....................... 12
Magical Power ....... 28
Max Speed ........... 8
Goodness ......... 5
Intelligence ............. 107

Blurf is a real worrier and worries about everything. She wobbles when she worries and the wobbling worries her. It’s not easy being blurf.
Danger Level .......... 1
Age ....................... 17
Magical Power ....... 3
Max Speed ........... 44
Goodness ......... 10
Intelligence ............. 102

Maud Plaud is an incredibly successful private investigator despite the fact she sticks out a little in her home town of Crewe.
Danger Level .......... 2
Age ....................... 30
Magical Power ....... 21
Max Speed ........... 13
Goodness ......... 5
Intelligence ............. 122

Hoddy works as a Krick Ballom on Planet Mivar. The nearest equivalent we have to such a job on Earth is a lollipop person that checks for nits.
Danger Level .......... 0
Age ....................... 54
Magical Power ....... 11
Max Speed ........... 2
Goodness ......... 7
Intelligence ............. 109

Fragula has always overdone her mascara and foundation since someone once said that she looked ‘really science fiction.’
Danger Level .......... 5
Age ....................... 23
Magical Power ....... 30
Max Speed ........... 11
Goodness ......... 3
Intelligence ............. 98

10 comments:

  1. I challenge you to a game of Top Trumps with these characters!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did you make these up? You have a very vivid imagination! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. There are 175 to collect. These are from the most recent collection. I hide the actual cards everywhere!

    I would win Codgi...

    ReplyDelete
  4. See...I cannot maintian seriousness for long.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  5. Venn diagram overlap issue here. I admire your creative madness in these cards but I hated top trump cards even as a kid. In fact, I hate cards altogether. When I see a pack of playing cards, I feel sick. If someone suggests playing cards, I actually vomit. I have the cards piece of brain missing. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah yes these are the famous and rare Flitinoks if I am not mistaken.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Molls, it's not the winning, it's the taking part.....

    ReplyDelete
  8. I LOVE them!! *Made me snigger*

    C x

    ReplyDelete
  9. Claire....this blog has fine tuned the venn diagram for me nicely...cards, maps, The unconscious, economics, ancestors, brick lists, poo poems, fractions, anything vaguely political or too conceptual, computer games, creativity wasted on my man because he's a man, reunions in the 'just Molly's' bit and

    catchphrases, made up places (Fustyweed - ah!), trips to Venus, funny stories, African tribes, life skill reports, penguin cards, Myers Briggs, Christmas street decorations, siblings, getting older, sex ed, posters in the overlap. What are the 'just claire' bits? There's a maths question in the making.

    Heronster -well there are a couple of Flitinoks but if you look closely there are some Krippits, Gafflaoolks, Jalonglia, Hiff and one of unknown origin. I am guessing you are new to alien/monster categorisation? Great work if you can get it.

    Codgi - rubbish. Oh, alright 'spose. I'm on the moral low ground again.

    Carol - good...sniggering is a desirable by-product
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Look at all this great artwork!

    Say, the goodness scale is only to 10 in these, right? Because otherwise, these are some really questionable characters in this post?

    ReplyDelete

I LOVE comments......