Sunday, 24 October 2010

Mind your Ps and Qs

When I was eleven I went to stay with a family in Paris for two weeks. It was a great holiday and they spoiled me rotten - took me to all the sights - although it might have been a bit wasted on an eleven year old. The father was a friend of my dad's (Gerard) - a fellow air traffic controller - that worked at Orly Airport. I travelled from Gatwick to Charles De Gaul as an unaccompanied child. I think this just meant I got to sit at the front and the staff checked up on me now and then - although I did get to go into the cockpit too - as my dad was 'air traffic contolling' the plane! Very 1980.

Prior to the trip I had been given really, really clear instructions from my parents about behaving well and being really polite and grateful at all times. I was NOT to disgrace myself.

Gerard and his family were waiting at the airport to pick me up when the plane landed and everything looked great. They had two sons (Arno and Antoine) and a daughter Alice. I was excited by the idea of two weeks with this family....... that was until I got into their car. From the moment Gerard turned the ignition key until we arrived at his lovely home in the Parisian suburbs, he was all 'fu*k you', 'wa*ker', and 'cu*t'. As an eleven year old I had never been exposed to quite so much aggressive swearing. My eyes were popping out with shock and I actually remember feeling quite scared, wondering what my parents had sent me to and thinking I wanted to go straight home.

It was only later that evening that it suddenly occurred to Gerard what he had done. He could not apologise enough.
'I always swear in English when my children are around...I am ever, ever so sorry!'


  1. "As an eleven year old I had never been exposed to quite so much aggressive swearing."

    You are joking me?!! Doesn't "fuckety fuck-tit-bastard-wanker-fuckin-shit-hole-arse-cunt" and that type of thing count? xxx

  2. Oh yes. But from your OWN dad it's a known thing that you can feel secure with!!!! Sort of comfort swearing

  3. I agree, yes. I loved drifting off to sleep to it - lullaby-like almost!

    Still funny though - you couldn't have been more exposed and it couldn't have been more aggressive!

    But I distract from your very lovely and funny story xxx

  4. An interesting experience MollyP
    I originate from a slum area where swearing was every other word...they(we)didn't have sufficient command of the language. I slowly grew to despise its use as I became exposed to better expression. I detest swearing...especially coming from woman.
    Strangely enough though, I find it funny in certain circumstances which are generally rare.

    I try not to allow its use to colour my opinion of the user, but I find it increasingly difficult and, if I'm honest, I begin distancing myself.

  5. That's a shame Ken D as I think a smattering of punchy swear words delivered effectively can definitely enhance humour - especially from a woman.

    Swearing aggressively at someone is a whole different matter though...

  6. Whoa, I always swear in English also...

    Funniest effective lady swear award goes to Glasgow woman Anna Russell: 'Bol$&%cking C$*t Buckets'

  7. The French love the F word and use it liberally! Push your trolley around a supermarket and the Music is Playing Fuck You Very very much! Various celebs have been upset on French tv when the bloke asks can I f@ck you!!..No is usually the answer. LOL

  8. I think I should learn to swear in Welsh

  9. that made me laugh!

    when we were growing up, we were not allowed to swear - my brother actually had his mouth washed out with soap once... so swearing became quite alluring and sexy, and very 'grown up'! i like swearing, and do it quite a lot, but my boy does not. i allow him to swear (i am the only adult that allows him) but he has chosen not to. interesting.


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