Posts

Showing posts from 2010

The past and the present as the past's future

Image
The way I always remember the past is to clump periods of time together and attach an overriding feeling or gist. Consequently my personal history is chunked and categorised with the feeling each chunk evokes. Is that what everyone does? The chunks' labels can be arbitrary and chunks can overlap. For example I can have a feeling for the time I lived in a particular house but also a feeling for a friendship that also spanned two different homes etc. I suspect this isn't unique to me but feel I might need to look for a little reassurance so I can deny anti-mainstreaming....again. Other chunks can be decades. I suspect I am not alone here. What does the seventies evoke for you (feelings or thoughts?) or the eighties? Those two were so distinct. (The nineties and the noughties don't feel quite so discrete for me but can muster up a few 'gists'). A book I am reading at the moment also pointed out something else about the past to me: I(/we?) tend to arrogantly have a patr

Fustyweed Reposted!

Image
There is a place in Norfolk called Fustyweed http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&tab=wl Officially, it's just a hamlet........but I have insider information. A terrace of five small houses sit some distance back from the only road. Smoke from the five little chimneys zigz zags into the sky. The doors and window frames are haphazardly painted orange, purple, red and green. The front gardens are brimming with stunningly beautiful flowers: mostly noddydil, fraf and craggleweed. Silver and gold fluttifol buzz around them collecting gliff to make their glittery crunnyplop (which is sold in jars from a table at the roadside). All of the houses are kept perfectly maintained with the exception of number four. Minky Flupp who lives there says she spends far too much time granting wishes to bother with keeping her house shipshape. Her neighbours don't mind, as long as she grants them a wish now and then. Jiggy Paloozeville at number three keeps yickins. The yickins lay the most delic

Change is on the wind

Image
Interesting times, interesting times. It is already feeling quite different from a year ago. My wonderings are: 1) With so many socially-minded, middle income people being made redundant, what will fill that work void? By their nature, public sector workers tend to be idealists and not overly 'business minded'. A sweeping generalisation, but I don't think these 'types' are overly suited to business in boom time...let alone a time when people are being financially cautious. We are in the early days of this change. The first wave of redundancies are about to kick in. There are many more to come. So we haven't seen their full impact yet. 2) Recession can mean less consumption. This is good for the planet! We nearly all consume much more than we need. I wonder if a fundamental shift in values might occur or is this just my wish list? I guess difficult times can make people go both ways: snatchy, selfish and dark (1930s Germany) or connecting and mutually supportive

Eastern Daily Press turned me Norfolk.

Image
A few years ago I was asked to give some answers to some standard questions the local newspaper issues to various Norfolk people each week. Recently I was cleaning out my 'pooter files and found them. These are they! They make me laugh because they are so 'twee' and I don't think I am. I could be deluded...again. What is your idea of perfect happiness in Norfolk? Is that not a strange question? Wouldn't it be better to ask - what do you love about Norfolk or in which Norfolk places do you find happiness? I’m a small pleasures person – so it doesn’t take very much to make me happy – or even over-excited! However I do love Norfolk and Norwich’s many outdoor festivals or street events, wandering around and lapping up the atmosphere. How do you relax in the County? Again - slightly odd question. Probably relax in Norfolk in a similar way as I would in Crewe, Inverness or Tunbridge Wells Leaving the hustle and bustle of Norwich behind and getting into the countryside o

The Teenage Pregnancy Fete

Image
You don't have to look far to see there's a lot of cut, cut cutting going on in the public sector. My team was part of the first wave of cuts. We are the county's Teenage Pregnancy Strategy Unit. We have known we were to be axed since July. July! That's a long time to know that you are going to be made redundant and an awful lot of sympathetic 'well what are you going to do?' conversations to endure! The team is well past needing sympathy and a little bored by those conversations - although we do acknowledge they come from kind intentions. We have worked with lots of different agencies across the county and I have worked with many schools in particular. I have supported schools with their sex and relationships education, personal, social and health education and many things linked to well being. It has been a fantastic and fascinating job. We were told a couple of weeks ago that we couldn't just say goodbye to everyone on the phone and that we needed to have

Through the arch....

Image
We have been reading children's books aloud for the last ten years. It's part and parcel of being a parent I guess. We've been through all the Rainbow Fairies, all the Harry Potter Books, much Doctor Who written merchandise and much more besides. Some I have managed to be mildly entertained by but none so much as the Mr Gum books by Andy Stanton (read to our seven year old son - although he doesn't always really listen) and they regularly make me laugh out loud. There are few books that do that. Here's a great snippet to give you a flavour if you have not read these books (you have to read it out loud): Chapter 3 Here's who went through the arch that morning: First was Old Granny, then Martin Launderette, then the little girl called Peter, a little boy called Rita and a baby called Elsie Wa-Wa. Then a really, really tall bloke called Harry Extreemoleg, then Thora Gruntwinkle with Greasy Ian and their pet monkey Philip the Horror, and then Jonathan Ripple, who go

Myer Briggs Illustrated

Image
I added these illustations to a post wrote last winter: Myers Briggs and Communication but I like them enough to just brazenly post them, on their own, without any explanation. Perhaps I will get a reputation for being reckless! There might be a nutter out there somewhere that these might mean something to. Here goes..... For those pictures don't work for.....

Two new books

Image
I have two new books out this month. They are quite different from others I have written but I enjoyed the process of researching and writing about such serious issues. Of course I had to go and flick peas, wriggle like a worm and bounce on spacehoppers as an antidote after each writing session.

It's shameful to admit you google your own name but look what I found on the urban dictionary!!!!

Image
Molly Potter buy molly potter mugs, tshirts and magnets A term used by Harry Potter fans to describe someone who has the qualities of both Molly Weasley and Harry Potter, particularly Harry's brains and Molly's loving bubbliness. In other words, Molly Potter = sheer greatness. Some also refer to it as the name Ginny and Harry SHOULD have named their child. "Woah, that girl is such a Molly Potter. She aced the test AND told me my hair looked good today" perfect smart intelligent molly weasly harry potter loving by picklejarr Dec 8, 2009 share this Yes I'll go with that! In line with my self-googling narcissism! I might suggest this as a possible illustration....

Sympathy

Image
I have been having rambling thoughts recently about sympathy and my difficulties with it! I'll start by saying that I do know it is usually a well intentioned thing. (I have never seen ‘too sympathetic’ listed as a vice.) For me however sympathy usually causes a lot of discomfort and a little repulsion - especially and ironically at times when it is probably most warranted. If I stub my toe and someone is sympathetic - that's fine. I can cope with that. I probably wouldn't call that sympathy. I'd call that an empathic reaction. It's all the other kinds of sympathy I struggle with. I'll illustrate and explain..... When my father died, at first people could be as sympathetic as they liked because I was in shock and unable to properly receive whatever people were aiming my way. But I remember there did come a point where I had to brace myself to receive inevitable sympathy (that would happen for example when I saw a friend for the first time since my father had die

The wisdom of Carl Jung

Image
I might have mentioned - once or twice - my interest (obsession) with the teachings of Carl Jung - both his conscious and sub-conscious psychology. I have some of his quotes on the wall in the upstairs bathroom. (Einstein is downstairs giving a speech about humankind - it's good to toilet with great minds). Anyway - here are some of my favourite snippets of Carl Jung....... Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves A very wise woman called Nuala Ronayne taught me this when I was about twenty six. I have grown to understand and explore its meaning more and more with age. Of course it's all about the sub-conscious rumbling and giving us clues to its existence. The same action can irritate one person and not another. That's a clue to our individuality. The irritated person therefore has an opportunity to learn something - if they choose the take it. It's also about knowing to own your own irritations rather than just blam

More Evidence

Image
It is a bit like I am addicted to making these silly characters for my home made top trump cards which now number well over 300. Perhaps I should just start wearing an anorak and playing dungeons and dragons. DAOSY Daosy was a magician’s assistant until the ‘cutting her in two’ act went terribly wrong. Daosy used to have a lower half and a jet engine. VILLOMAX Villomax has been claiming jobseekers’ allowance for some time as nobody appears to want to employ a nuclear-powered triple-way nipper. JIANNE Jianne fell in love with a carboretta called Candy Rose. They have had three offspring: a cork screw, and spanner and a fork lift truck.

The Story Poem

Image
When my lovely, talented, musical friend Ruth Gordan sent me a poem with the middle missing....this is the filling I provided..... The Story Poem (Stome) I know a cat, A black cat, Santor Lion-roarer Playing tunes on the kora Or facing the crowd, Double bass in paw, Wowing them into applause I know a cat, A black cat, Santor Inventor of song And full moon dance-along With wet red tongue World expert on Jung But he doesn’t like me Oh no He doesn’t like me Slink and stare Santor Blink and don’t care Santor Not about me *********** THE FILLING************************ INTERRUPTION We interrupt this poem to debate the pros and cons of melodic rhyming. For  There’s not enough rhyming in the land Typed up or written by hand  Rhyming makes you look clevererererest  It would continue the format that prompted all this  Rhymes can easily be turned into songs  Rhymes are nice. Against  Ugly forced rhymes are bound to happen  Creative flow might be stifled  I left my word starts at home  R

Mind your Ps and Qs

Image
When I was eleven I went to stay with a family in Paris for two weeks. It was a great holiday and they spoiled me rotten - took me to all the sights - although it might have been a bit wasted on an eleven year old. The father was a friend of my dad's (Gerard) - a fellow air traffic controller - that worked at Orly Airport. I travelled from Gatwick to Charles De Gaul as an unaccompanied child. I think this just meant I got to sit at the front and the staff checked up on me now and then - although I did get to go into the cockpit too - as my dad was 'air traffic contolling' the plane! Very 1980. Prior to the trip I had been given really, really clear instructions from my parents about behaving well and being really polite and grateful at all times. I was NOT to disgrace myself. Gerard and his family were waiting at the airport to pick me up when the plane landed and everything looked great. They had two sons (Arno and Antoine) and a daughter Alice. I was excited by the idea

My papier mache dragon

Image
My husband fell in love with me at the point of me showing him my papier mache dragon's wire innards. What a selection process! I haven't read it in a fairy tale.

Nit comb

Image
I have bought an amazing electronic nit comb. It buzzes until it finds a nit and then the buzz is interrupted until the nit has been zapped and falls out of the hair dead. Hours of pleasure. I'd recommend one even if nits don't visit your house. You could chase ants with it, for example. Sorry I needed an antidote after that last post! After years of battling....this is my definitive answer to the nit problem: for complete nit blasting and prevention: Hedrin Once to get rid of nits. Then buy a water spray bottle (Superdrug sell them) and fill it with water plus a few drops of lavender essential oil. Spray your child's hair before they go to school. Nits hate lavender. Alternatively, tea tree oil shampoo also seem to prevent infestations!

My mother

Image
My mother visited last weekend. I do love my mum deep down (!) but on the surface our extreme differences cause us some difficulties. Our conversations can sometimes sound like the Guardian fighting with the Daily Mail. I try to steer her away from social and political comment but she nearly always brings them up - seemingly every time genuinely oblivious to the fact I might have a different viewpoint and then surprised at just how different and then a bit cross about my alternative view (I should agree - yes?). And sometimes it gets a bit heated because I am terrible at letting prejudice and negative evaluative judgements aimed at random minorities - just pass by. Because the relationship with my mother is tumultuous and I prefer harmony, I am always looking for things that help me be more accommodating of her and her ways (even if she's not trying the same with me). and then I came across this in the novel I was reading..... What fabrications they are: mothers. Scarecrows, wax do

Fruits of blogging

Image
There are many 'fruits' of blogging (nougats of information, foods for thought, feedback etc) but when one arrives in a large envelope and turns out to be a highly personalised housewarming gift that I adore...it's really quite something...... (This photo does not do it justice) Thank you so, so much Carol at: Not only in Thailand: www.notonlyinthailand.blogspot.com (my link thing never uploads - any advice?) It is going into a frame and onto my wall. I am truly touched. xxxxxx

Shards

Image
And as a CD....

I love a good social...

Image
Yesterday was chap's birthday. He's a quiet introverted person so his idea of how to celebrate is different from mine (which I appreciate). Where I fill my house, a pub or a field up with as many people as I know (and then get a little frustrated that I cannot get round them all to give them 'quality' attention - that's my idea of quality - there might not be consensus), Andy prefers a select few for food and drinks and chats. So that's what happened. And we had a sweet time. However I couldn't leave it alone entirely and we ended up getting out the box and much interesting, humorous, enlightening, self disclosing conversation was had. Questions vary considerably and include things like: • What personality trait do you admire most in other people? (quite varied answers - resilience, sense of humour, generosity, honesty (some debate), being true to yourself) • What would you call your autobiography? (Mine was, 'I meant well') • Can you list three thin

Conflict again

Image
Mike Fleetham, ex-engineer, ex assistant headteacher, trainer, inspirer and author sends me thought provocations every now and then. I think it's always accidental. Yesterday he sent me this..... “A court in India has said that a disputed holy site in Ayodhya should be split between Hindus and Muslims, but both sides plan to appeal” Therein lies humanity's total problems I blogged ages ago about a story Mike has in one of his books about a frog eating a snake that was eating the same frog (in a loop) as a metaphor for conflict. It reminded me of that. One eating the other eating the other in a futile exercise of destruction, unable to grasp the concept of its futility and so carrying on with dogged determination. From afar, when you are not embroiled in the intense emotion, this kind of situation can send one into a despondent marvelling at the ridiculousness of conflict. Obviously it’s easy to rise above these things when one is not directly involved and its impacts potentiall

Shame

Image
I have been reading about the psychology behind restorative practices (see yesterday's post). It's all fascinating stuff but I was particularly intrigued by the work of Donald Nathanson on shame . He states (after extensive research) that unlike many other emotions, e.g. anger, fear, disgust, surprise (described as a wipe-clean of the brain so you just focus on what's there in front of you), interest, enjoyment, etc, shame does not have any chemical or electric biological triggers when it is experienced. Although he admitted it might seem puzzling to some, he described shame, therefore as being simply the reaction to an interruption of a positive feeling or affect. He saw that shame in his own children usually manifested in their turning their heads downwards and averting their eyes and that they also did this when a pleasurable or interesting experience was interrupted. This demonstrated that shame was not just felt when you did something wrong; it was also felt when a go

Restorative Practices

Image
Restorative Practices are a 'touchy feely' thing that is evidenced to work and it's happening effectively already in several organisations in the city of Hull, UK. It took one school from special measures - i.e. failing - to outstanding in two years for example and the police are finding it an effective way of tackling wrongdoings and preventing reoccurence. I'll explain it my way........ OK - so you have done something wrong and you got caught. The 'powers that be' have issued your punishment. Because of the punishment, you feel like a victim because all you can think about is the punishment you were issued. You do not reflect on the 'crime' you committed or the effect it had on others. Nothing has changed other than you feel resentment towards the authority that issued the punishment and you might try not to do the crime when 'they' are around - so your 'bad' behaviour might be occasionally suppressed by fear of receiving further punis

Do they have a plan?

Image
O.K. supposing you were in charge of a country, talking completely idealistically, what would you want for that country? Just to paraphrase: what would a successful country look like in your opinion? If you were to really think about it you might create a list of necessaries and desirables for this successful country. You might think generally or you might take it down to what every individual might experience when they exist in that country. This idealist ponders..... I want this country to give everyone equal opportunities, treat everyone fairly, encourage everyone to reach their potential and live a fulfilled life. This would mean nobody lived in relative poverty and it would tackle a lot of social ills - like crime for example. What's the plan Mr Cameron? I'll wheel out Maslow.....

Tea Towel

Image
A present I gave to one of my loveliest friends: Caroline when she got married. I basically painted six tea towels with six different artists' impression of Caroline and Joe - had they painted them. I did this one: Klimt and Miro, Munch, Van Gough, Kandinsky and another I cannot remember.

Still at the top trump malarky

Image
I am still making top trump cards and scattering them here and there. I also hand them to people so that they can use them as a form of identifucation (sp). There are now well over three hundred to collect. My sister says it's just attention seeking behaviour. I agree.

This book does not exist by Gary Hayden

Image
I breezed through a book shop the other day and glanced at a book called, ‘This book does not exist’ which described itself as taking you on adventures in the paradoxical. It entertained my nerdy department briefly and had I had more than a bike pump, a bottle of water and a daft look with me I might have bought it. Anyway the paradoxes I remember enough to regurgitate are as follows. ( Is it really a) Paradox? 1 A hang man says to his ‘client’ I am going to give you a surprise hanging some time during the next working week. I will hang you on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday but I won’t tell you the day because it needs to be a surprise. The hangee replied, 'well if you have not done it by Thursday midnight, I will know it’s going to be on the Friday so that won’t be a surprise. So you can’t do it on Friday. By the same reckoning, if you haven’t done it by Wednesday Midnight then I will know it is going to be on Thursday so that would not be a surprise,' and so o